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Marriage
from distant or non-relatives is preferred
Question:
One of my relatives has come to me for the purpose of marriage
but I heard that to marry from non-relatives or distant relatives
is preferred for the sake of the future of the children and
other reasons. What is your opinion on that matter?
Response:
That principle has been stated by a number of scholars. It
points to the fact that genetics and heredity has an effect.
There is no doubt that genetics has an effect on the physical
and psychological make-up of the person. This is shown in
the hadeeth
where a man came to the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
and said: "My
wife has given birth to a black child." (He was opposing
that child because all of his ascendants were of light skin.)
The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
told him:
((Do
you own camels?))
He
said:"Yes." The Prophet (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
said:
((What
color are they?))
He
said:"Red." The Prophet (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
asked him:
((Is
there a dusky one among them?))
He
said:"Yes." The Prophet (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
then said:
((How
has that come about?))
The
man replied: "It is perhaps due to the strain to which it
has reverted." So the Prophet (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
told him:
((Perhaps
that son of yours is due to the strain to which it has reverted)).
This
is evidence that genetics has an effect and there is no doubt
about that. However, the Prophet (sal-Allaahu
`alayhe wa sallam)
also said:
((A
woman is married for [any of] four reasons: for her wealth,
for her lineage, for her beauty or for her religion. So try
to marry one who is religious, may your hands be smeared with
dust)).
Therefore,
the most important matter in proposing to a woman is her piety.
The more religious she is and the more beautiful she is then
the better she is, regardless if she be a close relative or
distant [or non-] relative. The religious woman will protect
the man's wealth, children, and house. Beauty fulfills his
needs and lowers his gaze and he will not look to others.
And
Allaah knows best.
Shaykh
Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
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