My mother treated me badly

my-mother-treated-me-badly

Reference: Fataawa Noor ‘alad-Darb – Question No.6263, Page 98-99, Volume 12

Question: I made my mother angry a number of times to such an extent that I became insolent and abused and insulted her, and [used] inappropriate words. [And all this was] over some petty matters; because she treated me badly, I suspected she loved my older brother more than me. And I know that her [being in a state of] anger causes Allaah to be angry, and her [being in a state of] pleasure causes Allaah to be pleased. So now she is on speaking terms with me, and is pleased with me, what should I do to expiate for what I had done?

Response: Indeed you causing your mother to be angry, and speaking to her in such a prohibitive manner is not permissible, because Allaah (Ta’aala) says:

{And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”}, soorah al-Israa, aayahs 23-24

And a man came to the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said:

‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said:

«Your mother»

The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said:

«Your mother»

He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said:

«Your mother»

He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said:

«Your father» – transmitted by al-Bukhaaree

And this is evidence that extending good companionship towards the mother takes precedence over [doing so towards] the father; that said, indeed both the mother and the father have rights which he must fulfil. And if he should fall foul of either of his parents – or both of them, then the [best] way to rectify that would be to seek to please and delight them. And if they were to [overlook his bad behaviour and] forgive him, and resume good relations with him, then [sincere] repentance will wipe away that which has passed [of his bad behaviour]. And [as a result] he will not be punished for that which he did, so long as he is sincere in making an honest repentance.

Abu 'Abdullaah, Mohammed Akhtar Chaudhry

About Abu 'Abdullaah, Mohammed Akhtar Chaudhry

- from London, UK. He is a graduate of the Islaamic University of Madeenah, having graduated from the Institute of Arabic Language, and later the Faculty of Sharee'ah in 2004.