Dealing with worry, grief and sorrow

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Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:

And among the benefits of this hadeeth[1] is that the Sharee’ah distances itself from anything that leads to regret, dispute, or enmity.

How so?

Because the prohibition of these types of sales and transactions stems from wisdom, among them: to prevent a person from [later feeling] regret.

Suppose you hired a stallion to mate with a mare you own, and it mated, but she did not conceive – would you feel regret or not? [You] would [likely] feel [regret].

So you hired a second [mare] – likewise (the same result), and a third [mare] – likewise (the same result).

Anything that leads a person to regret – the Sharee’ah instructs us to avoid it.

This also has principles; from them [are]: that Allaah says:

{Private conversation is only from Shaytaan that he may grieve those who have believed, but he will not harm them at all except by the permission of Allaah.} – al-Mujaadilah:010

And Allaah ﷻ informed us of this so that we may avoid this thing.

[Allaah] didn’t tell us this merely to inform us that Shaytaan wants to sadden us, but to make us avoid what leads to grief.

It is not merely informing us that Shaytaan wants to sadden us, no.

The intent is that we should distance ourselves from everything that leads to sadness.

And for this reason, the Prophet ﷺ said:

«If you are three [people], then two of you should not converse privately – excluding the third because that would sadden him.» – Saheeh al-Bukhaaree, no.6290

So, everything that brings sadness to a person is forbidden.

Secondly: the Messenger ﷺ instructed that if someone sees a dream they dislike, they should spit lightly to their left three times, and seek refuge with Allaah from its evil and from the evil of Shaytaan, and turn over to the other side, and not tell anyone about it, and perform wudhoo and pray.

All of this is to help remove the negative impact of such things.

All of this is in order for a person to repel the negative effects associated with such dreams.

And for this reason, some of the companions said:

“We used to see dreams and become ill from them, but when the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ told us this hadeeth…” – meaning: they were at ease, and their worries ceased.

So, everything that brings about worry, sadness, and grief, Allaah wants us to avoid it; to avoid it.

And for this reason, Allaah ﷻ said:

{there is [to be for him] no sexual relations, and no disobedience, and no disputing during hajj.} – al-Baqarah:197

Because disputing makes an individual become heated [or defensive] and changes their frame of mind due to the argument; they will experience worry and be distracted from worship.

The important point is, always keep in mind that Allaah ﷻ wants you to always be happy and far [removed] from sadness.

And a person, in reality, has three states [of mind]: a past state, a present state, and a future state.

The past: a person should try to forget it and the worries related to it, because it has ended as it was.

If it involved a calamity, then say:

 اللّهُمّ أَجِرْنِي فِي مُصِيْبَتِي وَ أَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْراً مِنْهَا

«O Allaah, reward me in my calamity, and grant me [something] better in return.» – Saheeh Muslim, no.918

– and forget [it] (move on).

That’s why mourning with wailing is forbidden—it renews grief and keeps it alive.

And this is why wailing is forbidden.

Why?

Because it renews grief and sorrow, and reminds one of them.

The future state: its knowledge is with Allaah ﷻ.

Rely on Allaah.

And when situations arise, deal with them [appropriately].

But for the things [in the future] Allaah has commanded you to prepare for, then prepare for them.

And the present state is the one you can actually deal with.

Try to distance yourself from everything that brings [about]…

What?

Worry, sadness, and grief, so that you may always be at ease, with an open heart (content), turning towards Allaah, and His worship, and [focused on] your affairs of this world and the hereafter.

If you try this, you will find comfort and relief.

But if you tire yourself with what has passed, or by worrying about the future in a way not permitted by the Sharee’ah, then know that you will only exhaust yourself and miss out on much good.

[1] Extracted from Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen’s explanation of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (radhi-yAllaahu ‘anhumaa) in Buloogh al-Maraam:

Translation originally published on 5 May, 2025