Reference: ‘Ishratun-Nisaa. wa Hill al-Khilaafaat az-Zowjiyyah p58
Question: I play around with my wife a lot and notice that I ejaculate without having sexual intercourse with her, and likewise, she plays around with me, and nothing comes out of her either. So is it obligatory we both take ghusl?
Response: If you ejaculated or she excreted some fluid, then it is obligatory upon both of you to take a ghusl. However, if you ejaculated and she did not excrete any fluid, then she does not have to take a ghusl, rather you yourself have to. Likewise, if she excreted some fluid and you did not ejaculate, then she herself has to take a ghusl.
And if you both had sexual intercourse and no ejaculation occurred, and she did not excrete any fluid, then it is upon you both to take a ghusl, according to the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said:
, transmitted by Imaam Muslim.
So ghusl is made obligatory if one ejaculates [or excretes fluid in the case of a woman] even if sexual intercourse did not take place, and likewise, it is obligatory if sexual intercourse takes place and ejaculation did not occur. So it is obligatory in both cases.
