Sometimes I upset my husband and don’t apologise


Question: Sometimes I upset my husband, which provokes his anger. [As a result], he boycotts me and keeps away from me. I cannot apologise to him because I am very ashamed [of myself]; so if my husband remains angry [like this] with me, am I liable for [any] sin?

Response: You must seek to please your husband, and try to get your husband to pardon you for what you have done. [Importantly], do not [leave matters as they are, and] continue upon an error, rather try and please him, and hopefully he will forgive you and overlook what has come to pass – this is the best [path to pursue]. And the Prophet ﷺ said:

«If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses [and does not come], and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.» – Saheeh al-Bukhaaree – 3237, Saheeh Muslim – 1436, Sunan Abi Daawood – 2141, Musnad Ahmad – 2/439, Sunan ad-Daarimee – 2228.

So it is incumbent upon the wife to obey her husband [only in that which is good], and not to disobey him.

I ask Allaah to bless everyone with success.

He is a graduate of the Islaamic University of Madeenah, having graduated from the Institute of Arabic Language, and later the Faculty of Sharee'ah in 2004. He currently resides in Birmingham, UK.