Quarrelling between my wife and my mother

Reference: Fataawa Noor ‘alad-Darb – Question No.6488, Pages 311-312, Volume 12

Question: I ask you to guide me to that which correct. I have been married for 5 years [now], and [unfortunately] there is always [some sort of] quarrel in the family. I have a mother and young brothers for whom I am solely responsible – as I am the [only] one who works and financially supports them. [So] there is always [some sort of] quarrel between my wife and my mother – because of my brothers, who initiate the problems. And [now] I don’t know what to do. I have [my own] house which is [only] 3 metres away from the house I built for my brothers at a cost to me of 50,000 Yemeni Riyals. And I don’t know whether I should remain with my mother and brothers, or whether I should move to the house next door to them?

Response: I say, if it is not possible to live in peace with the [rest of the] family, then there is no harm for you to move with your wife to another house, and continue to please her with what pleases her. And this will be more easier than for everyone to remain in [a state of] unhappiness and not enjoying their lives – neither you, nor the rest of them. And for you to move out with your wife is not considered as being disobedient [to your mother], rather it is considered a form of restoring better ties. And [know that] Allaah (Tabaaraka wa Ta’aala) does not allow the reward of the reformers to be lost[1].

So I am of the opinion that you should move out with your wife to another house, and your mother will remain in your heart, and [be sure to] visit her regularly.

[1] {We will not allow to be lost the reward of the reformers}, soorah al-A’raaf, aayah 170

He is a graduate of the Islaamic University of Madeenah, having graduated from the Institute of Arabic Language, and later the Faculty of Sharee'ah in 2004. He currently resides in Birmingham, UK.

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