My mother asks me too many questions

Reference: Fataawa Noor ‘alad-Darb – Question No.6497, Page 320, Volume 12

Question: I am a young man of 35 years, and I have a mother who is elderly, and I live with her at home. My life with my mother since I was an infant was beautiful and filled with happiness, until approximately 1401H (1980-1981). [It was then that] her dealings with me began to change, and her love [towards me] changed to dislike, and my life with her became very difficult. She began asking me a lot of questions about my comings and goings, and I have endured this torment for a period of 14 years – and have [just] summarised it [here] for you in the hope that I can find a clear response which is supported by our Sharee’ah?

Response: I am of the opinion that you must remain patient with these questions which your mother puts to you, because it does not harm you to say to her: ‘I went to such-and-such a place’. And I suspect that she only asks you these questions for the love she has in her heart for your wellbeing, and how you are spending your time; and would it [therefore] harm you to respond to her and say: ‘I did such-and-such’?

However, it is Shaytaan who whispers to you that she only asks you these questions because your worth in her eyes has fallen, and it is as if she considers you to be a small child – and this is from the whispering of Shaytaan. And if you [were to honestly] ponder [for a moment] you will see that her questions [to you] are only because of her immense compassion [and love] for you.

Abu 'Abdullaah

About Abu 'Abdullaah

- from London, UK. He is a graduate of the Islaamic University of Madeenah, having graduated from the Institute of Arabic Language, and later the Faculty of Sharee'ah in 2004.